Monday, September 18, 2006

SOOB, WTF, FU, KMA

The office called and reported out of the 18 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature enough for fertilization. Yeay, right? Nope. Dr. went on to say that all of the eggs had 'defective' outer layers, which makes the prognosis poor for continued development. Son of a bitch. Are you serious? All this for nothing??? AGAIN?!? WTF!!! How do you achieve such great stimulation to end up with THIS bullshit?

If you can't already tell, I'm pretty pissed. I'm sad, and upset, and depressed, but mostly just PISSED.

He commented that we'll have to wait and see, so I suppose there is still hope. Said that some great embies fizzle out while not so great end-up working.

Trying not to give up just yet, but somehow giving up feels easier. Thinking that if this doesn't work then at least I'll get to quit work sooner. The plan is to do foster/adopt. If I got pg, I'd wait the 9 months to quit. If not, we would start foster care classes and be ready to move forward in 6 months. That's three months less of my stupid job. We'd also go on a dive trip somewhere. Woo freakin hoo. Hard to get excited about all that yet when my hopes have just been crapped upon by some guy over the phone.

So whomever it is you rely on as your higher power, ask that she cut me some slack just this once.

8 comments:

lola said...

oh steph, i'm so sorry. What crap news and how frustrating. You have every right to be angry, I'm angry for you!!
When will you find out if any of the embryos made it? I will cross my fingers for some good news out of all of this...

Hoping For A Baby said...

This sucks donkey sh*t!!! I'm pissed off too! You don't deserve this. It's just so unfair!

I will be sending the very best thoughts your way.

Kim said...

WTF is right! That totally sucks! I am so sorry. I will do every prayer, dance, voodo, and whatever else I can think of to send good vibes your way. None of this should be so hard for two terrific people. As you know first hand, the people who deserve children (you) have the hardest time and people who should never even have sex are having children right and left. None of this is fair! I wish I had some magical power that could change everything. I am so sad for you but hoping that there is a miracle and don't give up hope just yet. All my Love, Kim

sube said...

What crappy news. You and I are in very similar boats, aren't we? I hope this turns around for you.

wzgirl said...

Oh, wow. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. What a difficult call for that doc to make to you. All of my virtual fingers & toes are crossed for you and the embies. XOXO

Baby Blues said...

Argh, that's just so UNFAIR! I'm so sorry. If you lived nearby I'd invite you to go diving. We've got the best dive sites in Anilao, just three hours away from Manila. I love it underwater. It's so peaceful and calm. It's my escape. But right now, as you said, just get bombed then let loose!

Fertile Soul said...

This totally sucks. I cant believe it. To be so close and then this. But, our urologist said that he's had one case of ivf success with a dead sperm. So, i do think it could technically work both ways. Dont throw in the towel yet!

Dream Mommy said...

Sorry about the crappy news. Praying things work out anyway.