The office called and reported out of the 18 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature enough for fertilization. Yeay, right? Nope. Dr. went on to say that all of the eggs had 'defective' outer layers, which makes the prognosis poor for continued development. Son of a bitch. Are you serious? All this for nothing??? AGAIN?!? WTF!!! How do you achieve such great stimulation to end up with THIS bullshit?
If you can't already tell, I'm pretty pissed. I'm sad, and upset, and depressed, but mostly just PISSED.
He commented that we'll have to wait and see, so I suppose there is still hope. Said that some great embies fizzle out while not so great end-up working.
Trying not to give up just yet, but somehow giving up feels easier. Thinking that if this doesn't work then at least I'll get to quit work sooner. The plan is to do foster/adopt. If I got pg, I'd wait the 9 months to quit. If not, we would start foster care classes and be ready to move forward in 6 months. That's three months less of my stupid job. We'd also go on a dive trip somewhere. Woo freakin hoo. Hard to get excited about all that yet when my hopes have just been crapped upon by some guy over the phone.
So whomever it is you rely on as your higher power, ask that she cut me some slack just this once.