Sunday, October 19, 2008

now and then

This was taken last week. SP was playing with this toy train that we've had for some time and he never showed much interest in it. My Mom and I were on the couch and suddenly heard his giggling his head off. He was amusing himself playing with the wheels, laughing hysterically for about 15 minutes (a life time for a baby to play with anything).

I love the way he was doing his own thing but still managed to ham for the camara.

He's pulling up on everything now and loves to play with the dog door. Only fallen through once, purely on accident. The dog likes to lay right on the other side and watch the baby drool all over the glass. You can see my Dad's hand coming through the dog door in this shot. He was making funny noises from the other side and SP thought that was toooooo funny.

Why MY mouth is open, I don't know. Blame Pavlov.

Out to dinner for birthdays and got the free dessert; brownie with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce drizzled all about.

I gave the boy a taste of the ice cream (I like to let him explore new things, only to take them away I guess since he's not had sweets before or since). He was quite happy with the ice cream, so I thought I'd see what the chocolate drizzle did for him. I awakened a sleeping chocoholic. My oh my. He Fah-reaked out! It was funny at first, all that jumping up and down and squeeling, but not so much when mommy decided that was enough and he was climbing over everyone to try and get just another taste of that decadent brown goo......

Eventually had to cover it with a napkin and pass him over to my Mom to redirect~

This is SP the first week we had him (2 1/2 months old). I downloaded these shots off of my Mom's camara last week and was saddened and elated by this and similar other pictures.

He wouldn't make eye contact, no smiling or engaging of any kind. Very alert, but seemingly in his own little happy place. It broke my heart this little thing had already had to check out.

I am amazed how different he is today. Mr. Happy Pants most of the time. Of course we're currently in the whining and fake crying to get attention phase, but that aside he's not the same boy.

And it make me very happy to know I had a hand in that.

Recently I've been struggling with what I want in life. It's not just my wants, but my limits that are in question.

Some days I want to save the world one child at a time. Who cares if my heart breaks again, if I pour all I have into a little vessel that will float away....... they need someone. Why not me?

Other days I remember the ache when Baby Boy left and wonder if I could take it again. I think maybe there's a reason I'm infertile. That at some point, one must call it a day and move on.

Suffice it to say today's a save the world day. This is also attributed to watching CSI and there was a murdered woman who's 2 year old daughter was missing. She was in a casino daycare and crying. All I could think of was 'I could take her'. That poor little girl.

And there are so many of these kids with too much history and not enough love. If I can maintain some focus, maybe, just maybe, I could BE that person that helps. Even if it breaks my heart a little.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

so that's who I'm talking about



Top pic taken in July, above taken in August. He now has two top teeth about half way out and grinds his top and bottom teeth together. It's the most horrific noise EVER. Worse then nails on a chalkboard~

It's only a matter of time before he's walking. He started crawling, climbing, and standing in the same day. Quite a feat! Would have been a happier moment if he had some balance to go along with the determination!

Now he stands on his own all the time. Walks around things while hanging on and has tried to take a step or two. It will soon be time to tackle some serious child proofing as I can foresee he will be into everything.....

This weekend will be a daddy weekend as mommy is heading to beautiful Sedona with a couple of her mommy friends. Alert the emergency rooms, there will be three daddies on child duty this weekend (0:

Mommy will be drinking some wine in a hot tub, taking a leisurely hike, window shopping (AKA making fun of high priced artsy fartsy stuff that wouldn't last 20 minutes in my house even if I could afford any of it), and even a trip to a spa for a massage.

I know, I know. It's going to be sooooooo hard.
I have a feeling the ladies will find it in themselves to strap on our big girl panties and deal with it.

Let's hope the daddies are able to do the same!

Monday, October 06, 2008

going private

I have become a bad bad blogger.
I realize many things I have in my head have already been said.
I'm a poet, now you know it!

I seriously digress.

I am going to make this blog private so that I can post pictures of the baby. He's really the center of it all, so it seems to do so would be a better use of blog space.

If you'd like to be included when I swith over (in a couple of weeks) send me an e-mail so I can make sure you're able to get on and see the cuteness......... and the baby of course (haha).