Thursday, August 16, 2007

We have survived week one

We have had the midget for over a week and we're still alive. Or more importantly, he's still alive (0:

I would be lying if I didn't say it's been a transition. Before he arrived, I was sleeping in, going to lunch with friends, working on home projects here and there. Hubs and I went to movies on weekends, or nurseries to check out plants we may want to put in the yard. We had no schedule, no inhibition, no.... luggage!
Now I am up around 6AM. I am up at 2AM, and sometimes 5AM. I have started going to bed by 9PM to get in the sleep my body so eagerly needs, but breaking it up into 4 hour chunks has taken it's toll.
Friday I started feeling ill, with a severe sore throat and a temp. Then the paranoia of what if it's contageous and I'm the primary care taker of a 3 month old??!
Thank god hubs stepped in and took over Fri and Sat nights so that I could try and catch up on my rest, but I still wasn't over it by Monday when he went back to work. Add to this his departure Monday night for 2 weeks out of the country.
Good news is it seems to have passed, bad news it was replaced by horrid cramping. At least I'm certain cramps are not contageous........

Every morning, I am greeted to a big smile. Baby smiles all the time, makes noises and talks. Goes through diapers like nobody's business, and eats his weight in formula - thus earning him the nickname piglette.
He has had 2 visits with his biological mother. I realize it will take some time to see where the case will go. Only details I can post are Mom is a young teenager with problems with her own mother. Dad is older (yes, read into this) and illegal. The whole family is illegal. This is not uncommon in AZ.
Although it sounds bad, I don't care ~ I have to say this bodes well for us.
You have to have a background check completed in order to foster or adopt a child. You have to have a social security number in order to run a background check. You have to be a legal citizen to have a social security number. Follow me here?? If Mom doesn't get it together, our chances are quite good. And that's all I'll say about that.....

But life has definitely changed in one week. No movies, no eating out, no quick trips to the store, or even long ones. My beloved Home Depot seems just out of reach. Our lives rotate around naps, feedings, diaper changes, and playtime.

And it's wonderful.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

It's A Boy!!!!

No sooner did I start painting then the phone rang. 18 month old boy needs a home, are you interested? Um, duh. Bring his little but on over!

Few minutes later................
Sorry, the case manager really needed a home on the other side of town.

Back to Mrs. Poop.

Friday, take my bf to get her wisdom teeth out. Then head to her Mom's house to help care for her and my goddaughter while her Mom packed for the vacation they were leaving for in the wee hours the next day.

Hubs calls and lets me know someone buzzed in while he was on a conference call. Nope, wasn't me. Did you check your cell? No. Could you maybe do that now? OK.
So it was this guy at CPS and he wants you to call him back.
Okey dokey.

We have a 3 month old baby boy. Are you still available?
Sure am.
The case manager will call you in a little while and let you know what time she'll be bringing him over.


happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance

And at 4:45PM Friday, I was delivered an adorable 11 week old baby boy. Just like that.

more happy dance more happy dance more happy dance more happy dance

We'll call him baby A. He's got black hair and brown eyes and he smiles all the time! Only cries if he's wet himself or if he's hungry. Coos and plays and smiles some more.
This is bliss. The infertility gods owed me one and they seem to have not forgotten.............

Thursday, August 02, 2007


The wait is killing me.
I am poopy. Depressed. Lonely.
Makes me wonder how much stay at home-ness I can take! Maybe quitting my job wasn't such a good idea after all~

I tried to explain to hubs last night that I am not used to feeling useless. I have no direction, no responsibility, no drive.
Normally, this would be wonderful! But that's only because you know it's short lived and you have to go back to work. Not having anything coming is daunting, for me particularly.
I carried a lot of responsibility at work. My decisions changed lives. I had court and trials and attorneys to explain things to. I had to take charge of the parents and the foster parents and the service providers. I was responsible for the outcomes of my kid's lives. Hell, I was actually their legal guardian!

And now, nothing.

And worst of all, it's depressing to think that 6+ years have gotten me no where. I honestly thought that time and those connections would pay off somehow, giving me an 'in' to getting the right kids. Hell, ANY kids. That is a solid smack in the face.

So these days I'm home alone, except for the puppy, waiting. My pajamas are getting extra wear, pup getting lots of attention, e-mails galore going out for a shred of adult contact during my day. I carry the cell phone and the home phone with me at all times *just in case*.

And in my mind of minds I know it will happen when it should, but I can't help but be drawn back to remembering that was my same thought process when doing IVF, which failed. Twice.
So call me poop of the week, because I so totally am right now.

I am going to start painting the upstairs becase you know what they say, things tend to happen at the most inconvenient times~

OK. To add to the poopness I have been checking in the blogs to see how everyone is doing and it seems like all these people are preggers! Congrats to them, very seriously. We all know what a struggle it is getting there and the absolute bliss that it is when successful.
I do not begrudge them one iota, I am just feeling even more sorry for myself.
And if you are STILL reading this you are a glutton for punishment, too, and I hope I have not depressed you, oh innocent reader.