Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Is no news good news or just denial?

We survived the first husband induced shot in the ass. He did very well for being afraid of needles! It was so cute! He seemed so nervous and kept asking "are you ok? ok? ok? you ok?" the entire time he was giving the shot. I survived, too, especially realizing the needle seemed pretty damn big. Boy was that a prick! (that's what she said at the picnic).

I am REALLY REALLY hoping that no news is good news. I haven't heard back from the dr telling me all the embies died or anything. I am a bit naive on how it all works. I know they put them in a dark chamber-like thing, but do they look at them every day to see how they're progressing or just leave them alone until it's time to implant? I am scared shitless I'm going to get to the office tomorrow morning only to be told there's nothing there to work with. So I'm sticking with the no news is good news theory so I can get some sleep tonight.

We also discussed the multiples. I didn't sign the form for selective reduction. What's the point? You go thru all this crap and then get rid of a few because it's not what YOU had in mind? Granted, there are some 'outs' to this argument, but generally speaking, I don't think many IVFers would sign this form. We decided that we will sign it if it means they are able to put all the eggs in my basket. If the eggs are somehow deformed, as the dr reported, but miraculously are able to suvive and multiply, I am concerned they may not survive the freezing and thawing process. Wouldn't it be a waste to risk that when they could just toss em' all in me?? We also agree we don't want to go thru this again, even if it is just the thaw and stick part. It's really exhausting emotionally, not to mention financially, when it continues to fail. I am losing my hold on hope.

Guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Have to be there at 10:15 and I ASSUME they would call if there's no need to come in. Unless they deliver bad news in person. Shit. I just thought of that one. Oh well. At least they have valium there. I can be barren AND stoned!


sube said...

Truly hoping you get good news tomorrow.

(Definitely consult your RE about how many to put back, though. Not to be a downer, but there are significant risks to carrying multiples, both to you and to the babies.)

Hoping For A Baby said...

Congrats to you for surviving your husband's butt shot, and congrats to your husband for having the courage to do it!

Sending good thoughts your way :)

sube said...

Checking back to see how it went yesterday. Hoping for happy news.