Sunday, October 01, 2006

TAG - I'm it

I've been 'tagged' by my MIL. Ordinarily, this would take some time. But as time seems to be ticking at a ridiculously slow pace, and I hear every tock of the clock, I'll tackle the challenge now!

I am. . .. in an eternal wait. Waiting for test results, waiting to see what my family future holds. Either a newborn of my own, or foster/adopt classes, a diving vacation, and adoption.

I want. job to someday become obsolete. No more hurt children and stupid parents continuing to procreate without abandon.

I wish. . ... that my phone would stop ringing. Right now, at this very moment, an old friend is calling. again. Hadn't spoken to him in years, then he calls out of the blue and all he wants to talk about is his upcoming divorce. Oh, and that he misses me, his bestest friend. oy.

I hate. .... stupid people. seriously. Ignorance, not just uneducated. I work with a lot of these and now have very little tolerance.

I miss. .... partying with my friends. The girls used to go out dancing and get drunk and silly and smoke a bunch of cigarettes and be miserable together in the AM after coming home wasted and stopping by the Taco Bell. Now my two best friends have babies, my cousin lives in another state, SIL lives in another state, and only other person I could go with is not a good drunk.

I hear. .... my dog whining. I think it's adorable most times. It's like he's trying to talk to me. Usually accompanied by the CUTEST lovey face he can muster.

I wonder. . ... if I've made the right choices. All of them. I have issues in this area. I also wonder how the opposite choice would have impacted my life and where I am now.

I regret. . ... that I am often lazy. Many an opportunity may not have passed by if I'd just gotten off my ass. I also feel I should be more proactive to do the things I want to do. Like skydiving.

I am not. .... as put together as I like to think. My past has left me with a lot of scars, most I have become quite professional at camouflaging. Some of these cause me to judge too quickly, and have contributed to my cynical, and sometimes offending, sense of humor.

I dance. ... whenever there's music. Unless it's country. That's a no can do! I love to dance.

I sing. . .. all the time! Mostly in my car. I have done musical theatre and love the stage, but put me in front of only a couple people and I really get nervous. I freeze when I know people are looking at me. On stage, you can't really see anything.....

I cry. . .. Whenever I see someone else crying. It's like yawning for me. Once I see someone else do it I just start tearing up. I also cry when I can't make things better for the kids I work with.

I am not always. ... comfortable in my own skin. Many times I feel like the fat girl, especially on vacations. I love being in the water and scuba diving, so I don't let this insecurity get the best of me, but it is very hard mentally.

I make. .... cakes. Took cake decorating classes and learned how to make all kinds of pretty flowers. Not so excited on the baking part, but I can whip out a serious rose like nobody's business!

I write. ... whatever comes to mind. most of the time. It's therapeutic.......

I confuse. . .. my husband. I can be very emotional and flip like a switch on the poor man. Especially now while we go through this IVF. I change my mind by the minute on how I'm feeling and what I want to do next.

I need. . .. something to happen. I have been in a rut for awhile. Especially with IVF. I just need something to change. Hoping for good news when I take my test, but even if it's not I am looking forward to at least knowing and moving forward.

I should. . .. be less controlling. Or always feeling like I should have control of situations when I don't and then getting so upset when things don't go the way I want them to.

I start. . .. mentally decorating everything. other people's home, my new home.... everything.

I finish. . ... watching bad movies. I figure I've already invested a certain amount of time finding out it stinks, so I may as well keep watching and see if there is any redeeming qualities.

So there's my list. Nothing extraordinary, but it took me an entire 30 minutes to complete and I didn't hear a tock once. OK, once when hubby reminded me Amazing Race is starting. So I put it on and multi tasked the list!!!

I now pass the list torch on to Subi and NikkiNix and wzgirl and hopeful mother. Looking forward to seeing what you all have to say!!

1 comment:

Doris & Ez said...

WOW! That was quick! Hope you enjoyed doing this as much as I did. And yes, we have our fingers and toes crossed for you.