Date: Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:48:17 -0700
Subject: RE: baby boy.
The CPC has been signed by the court, so I need to move the baby as soon as possible. I want to give you some time to get things together and say good bye. The Case aide and I will be moving M on Wednesday, March 5. We will be by around 10:00 am. Thanks for the update on M's progress. You have done a great job with him, and I appreciate it.
If you have any questions just let me know. I will see you Wednesday.
Piece of shit case manager
Took out the baby's name and a little liberty with the cm's name.
Note how she sent an e-mail, didn't call, and then sent the fucking thing at 5:45PM when I would not be able to call her at the office.
Note how completely and utterly fucking fucking pissed I am, which is my only defense between bouts of crying and near hyperventilation.
My husband is out of state for another week. He won't even get to say good-bye.
Did I mention I can't breathe?
Monday morning will start a shit storm. I will be calling the cm and her supervisor's supervisor. Remember, her direct supervisor is the piece of shit I used to work with and who has a personal problem with me - even though she's the one who screwed up. So no point in trying to go through her, going directly over her ass.
Already sent an e-mail to GAL as well as leaving her a vmm.
I don't know if I can do this again. I am losing my baby in the worst possible way.
This shit is why there are so many foster parents who quit. This shit is why CPS gets a bad reputation. This shit is why there are so many fucked up kids in the world. Kids who started out great and then some asshole took advantage of that great happy little disposition and stunted them for life.
God I hope my baby comes out of this ok.
I am all alone and the only thing I can think of to do is write on this stupid blog.
I can't stop crying and I don't know what to do with myself. I tried to take a bath and relax. I tried watching TV. I tried calling my best friend but hung up before dialing because I just can't TALK about it. And now I'm here sitting in the dark alone in this fucking house typing away.
I don't know how to end this post.