Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I can't believe I'm sooooo far behind on the blog.
And I have no excuse.
So I will not bother with any.

Let's see if I can sum up the past -almost- month for any of you still checking in here~

On Friday the 13th, SP (Sweet Pea) stopped crying at the visit. Initially, I chocked it up to the date. But then the next week he was quiet again.
So I let the girls who supervise the visits (they are not parent aides, not with CPS, just dummies for hire who 'supervise' the visits while texting and doing absolutely NOTHING so I don't know what to call them other then the girls who supervise the visits (and I use supervise ever so lightly)) I would no longer be transporting SP.

One girl was cool, the other not so much. Tried to talk me into transporting one way giving me a sob story about how she was coming from far away and may not have time to pick him up and make it to the visit on time. I politely informed her that the only reason I transported until now was SP's unexplained screaming. Now that he was his normal happy self, I no longer desired to spend money on gas, put miles on my car, or use any of my time.

Although I must admit that for all my talk about asserting yourself, I kind took a chicken approach and mentioned the above reasons, but put a lot of emphasis on the fact that mom doesn't want me at the visits so I'd really like to take myself out of the equation entirely. Which is true, but let's face it, I seriously could give a shit what bio-mom thinks.

So the boy goes to visits with bio-mom and siblings two days in a row, two hours a time. This gives me about 3 hours of alone time two days in a row to splurge and do stuff. You know, like mopping the floor. Uninterrupted. Woo hoo.

Nothing else new on the case part of things. Mom still in in-patient, still has yet to test her sober legs in the real world. Still a lot of work to be done, a lot more time to bond with SP hoping she screws up.

SP is rolling over all the time, often when he doesn't really mean or want to. This also happens at night, which is really exciting when he wakes up all freaked out and screaming because he can't flip back over.
I know this will pass, we went through it with baby boy.

He's 6 months old as of yesterday and has 2 teeth on the bottom. Early for this development.
He loves loves loves going swimming and we're in the pool almost every evening. So much so that my hubs thought to ask "When's the last time SP had a bath?"
hmmmmmmmm. Isn't his 30 minute dip in our saltwater pool a bath? He doesn't come out smelling quite as good, but........

He goes underwater, floats, splashes and jumps. And all the while smiling like a fool! Water baby for sure.
The jumping spread from the pool to the indoors, where sadly, gravity has a much stronger pull. my poor thighs are black and blue, and a ghastly shade of white, but that's natural.
Into the jumperoo you go!
Now he jumps in the jumperoo, and will fall asleep with his little legs still going. It's so cute!

What else.....
Transitioned him from the swings to the crib for naps, am able to put him in the crib awake and walk away and he'll go to sleep on his own.

As he turned 6 months, he's officially able to start on food. Let me tell ya, this kid acts like he's been starving to death for the past 6 months.
Actually grabbed the spoon in my hand to shove it in his mouth quicker. Whined between bites because I wasn't fast enough.
I have a feeling we'll be transitioning from the oatmeal to REAL baby food in record speed.

As for me, I started taking DHEA. Read a bunch of fairly recent studies on it's positive effects on egg productivity, so I figured I'd give it a shot.
What's really interesting is the first two side effects are fatigue and acne.
So what you're telling me is that I may have better egg production but I'll be too tired and disgusting looking to want to have sex.
Yeeeeah. Great.
Thus far have definitely gotten the fatigue part. I sleep like a log and am tired all the time. Also got the acne, which is not so great, either.
Both are getting better, and I hope they will continue to do so, or I may just forget it.

There have been several people picked for adoption recently and we're considering that route. We aren't making any decisions for at least 6 months because it will take at least that long to see what's going to happen with SP's case. If we find out he's 99% sure going back to mom, I'll go back to work ~ to make that 30 grand a private adoption will cost us. SP will go to daycare, paid for by the state, which is fine b/c if he goes to mom he'll be in daycare, anyway.
I'll make some money (very slowly since I don't get paid didly as a social worker) and we'll get on the waiting list.

I must admit it feels good to have a plan B. I have lost some faith in the system, so I need something else. I already knew about the system flaws, but truly thought my connections would pay off somehow and we'd get a permanent placement more quickly. Oh well.
And plan C is still to find that one good egg hiding up in there somewhere. I haven't let go of the pregnancy dream. It's not a major focus, but not out of my system.


Anonymous said...

I am glad things are going well with SP.

The DHEA has totally kicked my left ovary into gear, so maybe it will get yours working, too.

I hope no matter what path you go down, your family comes to you sooner than you think. Options are good. I hope that you won't need to explore many of them.

Christy said...

I hope that the DHEA works well for you and is the answer to your prayers. Sounds like the pool time with SP has been so much fun! I can't wait to share our pool with a baby. Let's do lunch really, really soon as we have lots to chat about!

Janine said...

It was nice to read your catch up. Sounds like SP is really settled now. Adoption and fostering are so different in the States (I'm in Australia) and a lot of it baffles me. 30G for a private adoption? What for? We don't even have private adoptions here...all relinquished babies go into fostercare, and are then placed with an adoptive family around 3 months. No cost at all, but not very many babies available either (only 20 last year in our small state).
However it pans out, hope you get that forever child soon.

Patyrish said...

I think it's great you have a plan b and c.

SP sounds like he is doing awesome. Our little J just got his first two teeth on the bottem (just showing through now) and of course he thinks it's still okay to gnaw on my finger....such fun.

As for the DHEA....I had to giggle at your description of the side effects. LOLOLOL. I took clomid for three months at one point and while I had a BILLION eggs I was in so much pain and such a cry baby my DH was afraid to touch me.

Hang in there.

Diane said...

I have a friend who has had a foster son for 2 and a half years now. He came to live with her when he was 2 days old. Bio mom has been classified as unfit and they are moving toward termination of parental rights. I understand completely when you said you enjoyed SP and you had more time for bonding while you were waiting and hoping that bio mom would screw up. My friend is in love with this little boy who has been hers for 2 and a half years and before all is said and done it will be at least three years, even if he goes back home. That just isn't right! He knows no other mom other than the one who he has lived with for his whole life. The other lady, you know, bio mom, is just someone who he sees once a week along with his siblings that he doesn't really recognize as siblings. Cases like this one makes one sick. It has been way too long in the system for these kids and for us foster parents (I have one of the siblings as my foster daughter) and we are ready to see it end. Little trust in the system doesn't help much. so, here we sit and wait, and wait, and wait!


Bea said...

Wow. Whole lotta going on. Good luck with the DHEA, the feeding, the "system"... all of it. And hope that plan B has improved your outlook.


Marthavmuffin said...

I am sorry for your family. I pray that things will go well with Sweet Pea and and you will have a forever child soon. Please know that many have you in their prayers and good things come to those who wait.