the monotony has set in. hard. core.

I am likening this to post-par tum depression. I have heard a lot of IFers go through this. It is a naturally occurring phenomenon, happening when one wishes and tries and may even bargain with the devil for one or more desires. When they are fulfilled, all that energy implodes, causing massive hemorrhage to the emotional system.

Couple this with leaving your job and being home alone ALL THE TIME.

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I know the opposing argument, that there are many a person saying to themselves "I would love to be able to stay at home with a baby!". My response, try it and get back to me.

It is difficult having such little interaction. I speak with some friends on the phone, but really appear to have fallen off the radar. We don't go out all that often because it's hot, and the baby naps every 2 hours and eats every 3. Changes in the schedule could (and have) lead to being awakened multiple times at night, thus rendering the decision to go out in the first place questionable. So it's me, the dog, and the baby.

Hubs was out of the country for two weeks right off the bat. Alone alone alone.
There was a 6.5 hour trip to the ER when baby spiked a 104 temp. Of course modern science as it is, they were unable to pinpoint any problems after putting in a catheter for a urine sample, sticking his hands multiple times to draw blood, and putting him in a tube contraption for a chest x-ray. All the while multiple snotty nurses seemingly questioning my parenting ability because I did not give the child any Tylenol. Excuse me, but 104 degrees means get your ass in the car and go. So fuck off.

Every morning, I go into the nursery and am greeted by this beautiful smiling face, looking at me with anticipation of a new day. He knows my voice, smiles when he sees me across a room..... I am his mom.

And all is right in the world once again.



But it could be better if I had contact with some big people, too (0: