Sunday, July 12, 2009

she's here!

I am sooooo far behind, so here's the short version.

Alize moved in on Thursday, 7-2. Hubby was off that Friday so it seemed like a good plan to have three days with him home for the long nights we were preparing ourselves for. We'd been having her over twice a week (all day) but had not done an overnight. At the time, she was subscribing to some 'bad' habits (personal opinion here) of falling asleep whenever she wanted, while watching TV, in a bed with her brother or foster mom. At our house, bed time is 7:30, no TV, and you're in your room. Alone.

I bought her a fish to provide a night light and some sleepy time entertainment. Maybe not as interesting as a cartoon, but it's all I've got.

She seemed to get it a little bit, but we weren't sure (and still aren't) if she realized she was moving in forever and ever and ever.

We held our breath the first night, waiting for the whining and screaming and I Want To Go Home-ing to start, and then turned blue because nothing happened.


Nothing. Not then, not since. No issues sleeping, hasn't mentioned her previous foster mom, brother ~ nothing.

New scary-ness coming over us. Too easy. Too simple. Too abnormal not to have some level of separation anxiety from the brother you've always lived with and the foster mom you've been with for more then a year.
Needless to say, I've arranged to meet with a bonding specialist to try and get a handle on all of this.

The one that seems to have the most difficulty is, in fact, ME.
I am overwhelmed by the constant questions, the why why why why and repetitive 'where's daddy? what's that? what cho doin? You no sooner answer then she asks again. and again. and again.

I don't know if this is entirely normal, but I can tell you it's annoying as hell. I am missing my quiet time with Alex, being able to engage when I want to and allow him to quietly play other times. I seem to have no down time except for the 1 1/2 hour nap they take, and that flies by.

I am mentally exhausted. And it's only week 1.

Add to this fun my husband is leaving town TOMORROW for five day, then home for the weekend, then gone for another 4 days.
I know I'll manage, but it's a daunting thought, knowing I'm flying solo so soon for so long.

Feel free to send me your leftover prescription medications.

And here's what we're doing it for........................................

I am going to try and keep this up better, if only to post pictures and not much else (who has time???).
I hope everyone is well!
And I wasn't necessarily joking about the meds.


Grannymar said...

Great pictures, especially the last one of your little family.

Now for the sermon...

Ditch all meds! Laughter works much better.

Remember your dream has come true. The 'why? why? Whys?' are the price you pay for it. You had the silence for a number of years and hated it. Be thankful that Alize is calm and content, and stop LOOKING for problems. The problems, if there are any, will find you.

Stay calm and relaxed and it will reach your children, and make your life easier.

On the tough days - and there will be some - go back and read an earlier post of longing. Frame it in your head and and call it up to help you realise that you have what you want.

Last, and most important, ENJOY every moment and don't blink or their childhood will be over!

Love & hugs to all of you. GM

Bea said...

Nice pics. Very smiley! I can imagine it's a shock, though.


Millicent said...

The children look so happy to have each other...that's really wonderful. I do have to say that I laughed about the "whys". She's at that age and you may not have another quiet moment for another couple of years. We certainly don't expect to. I also emphathize with your feelings of being stretched thin. Nola demands our attention...constantly. She doesn't really play on her own. At least Alize and Alex have each other and, once they get to know each other better and Alex gets a little older, they will play together and you'll get some relief then.

And then there's the part about just giving yourself over to it all. Like your friend said..."laughter works much better." Don't expect any time to yourself and once you accept that, it'll be a lot easier.... and a joyous 20mins when you do get that time.

Amanda said...

Beautiful pics and thanks for the update!!!

Amanda said...

Steph - of course I will send you pics!!! Email me at, OK?

Amanda said...

What is up lady? I hope that you're doing well. Send me an update, ok?

Anonymous said...

Hope all is going well! Update if you can.